Holding My Last Breath
by saoirse
Summary: Another Evanscence song-fic. Set during the final moments of the first film. Please review.


Thanks to everyone who reviewed 'Remember'. It meant a lot to me. I might take that story somewhere further in the near future but at the moment short song-fics are all I seem to be able to produce. Too much work to do is the problem I think.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the song lyrics (My Last Breath - Evanescence). I don't own the Matrix. God I wish I did!  
  
A/N: This is just a slightly updated version of this fic. Thanks to some of the reviews I got I realised I was really unclear in one part of it. This has now been changed. But just to reiterate: This is the product of listening to Evanescence's album every day for 2 weeks and watching all of the Matrix and the Matrix Revisited dvds in one day! I cannot be held responsible for my actions!  
  
Holding My Last Breath  
  
~ Hold on to me love.  
  
You know I can't stay long ~  
  
Neo never felt the first bullet. Never felt the damage it had caused him. Just the impact of it. His fingers automatically moved to his chest and when he looked down on them he saw that there was blood on them and he knew. Knew this was the end. He felt the other bullets. He stumbled back against the wall. All he could think of was how he never found out what Trinity had tried to tell him at the train station earlier. 'Guess I'll never know now,' he thought as he struggled against the force of the bullets hitting him.  
  
Back on the Neb Trinity watched silently in disbelief as the monitars flatlined. 'He can't be gone. He can't be,' she refused to accept the truth that was right before her. 'Not before I tell him'.  
  
~ All I wanted to say was I love you  
  
And I'm not afraid ~  
  
"Neo, I'm not afraid anymore. The Oracle told me that I would fall in love. And that man, the man that I loved would be the One. So you see, you can't be dead, you can't be because I love you."  
  
~ Can you hear me? ~  
  
"You hear me? I love you." Trinity bent over his still form and kissed him gently on his lips.  
  
~ Can you feel me in your arms? ~  
  
Neo could feel his mind floating around. ' So this is being dead?' he wondered. He swore he could hear Trinity's voice but he ignorned it thinking that it was just his imagination. There was no way what she was saying was real.  
  
~ Holding my last breath  
  
Safe inside myself  
  
Are all my thoughts of you  
  
Sweet raptured light  
  
It ends here tonight ~  
  
As his mind drifted further away he begin to think about things. He thought about the Matrix and the real world. He remembered the one thing he knew he missed most about the Matrix. How there were things that were so fragile, so easily broken.  
  
~ I'll miss the winter.  
  
A world of fragile things. ~  
  
The winter. The real world reminded him so much of it. Everything seemed so tough, everyone. But underneath it all was easily broken. Just like icicles and frost on a tree in winter. He whispered something that he had heard when he lived in the Matrix.  
  
~ Look for me in the white forest,  
  
Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me) ~  
  
Hollow tree. When he had heard them he wasn't quite sure what they meant. He understood those words now though, a coffin. That's where he was heading now. His final resting place. He didn't know if they even had coffins in Zion. Or graveyards for that matter. 'It's not up to me to worry about that now though,' he thought.  
  
It was then he felt Trinity's mind. He couldn't expain how but he just did. And he knew what she was saying was real. Was true. 'Not now, not now,' was all he could think. Why did she choose now? When he was dead. When there was no hope. He wanted to try something. He could hear her mind so maybe she could hear his. "I love you Trinity. Goodbye."  
  
~ I know you hear me ~  
  
Then he felt it. The tickle of tears on his mouth, and he knew they were Trinity's. Before he could comprehend the fact that Trinity was crying for him, he felt her lips touching his gently.  
  
~ I can taste it in your tears ~  
  
'If I'm dead how can I feel her lips?' He barely had time to think before he felt his lungs gasp for air that had been denied to them for too long.  
  
~ Holding my last breath  
  
Safe inside myself  
  
Are all my thoughts of you  
  
Sweet raptured light  
  
It ends here tonight ~  
  
He felt the oxigen rush to every part of his body. He heard Trinity's voice ordering him to get up. He squeezed his eyes shut for a brief moment and whispered a silent prayer that he could see Trinity's face.  
  
~ Closing your eyes to disappear  
  
You pray your dreams will leave you here ~  
  
His eyes opened in the Matrix and he knew. 'I am the One.' There was only one thing that would have made this moment better and that was seeing a face he knew and trusted.  
  
~ But still you wake and know the truth  
  
No one's there ~  
  
He barely registered what happened next. It was just a series of punches and kicks and then feeling the Matrix bend around him as he recovered from destroying Smith. "NEO!" Trinity's desperate scream made him run for the phone that was still ringing in room 303. He picked it up. He felt his mind re-enter his body just as Trinty cried "NO!" and threw herself over him to protect him from the approaching sentinel.  
  
~ Say goodnight ~  
  
He opened his eyes after the EMP blast and saw hers staring into them. There was an emotion in them that he would have sworn he'd never see. Fear. He wanted to hold her and swear to her that she would never have ot be afraid again.  
  
~ Don't be afraid ~  
  
Neither was speaking but Trinity swore she could hear him calling her name over and over. It was them same feeling she had had when he'd died. She could have sworn then aswell that she had heard him saying something about forests. 'Get a grip Trinity,' she told herself. But looking in his eyes she knew they were calling her wordlessly  
  
~ Calling me  
  
Calling me ~  
  
As he kissed her gently, Neo imagined the entire world melting away into a curtain of black like it had always done during the kiss in old films.  
  
~ As you fade to black ~  
  
~ (say goodnight)  
  
Holding my last breath (don't be afraid)  
  
Safe inside myself (calling me)  
  
Are all my thoughts of you  
  
Sweet raptured light  
  
It ends here tonight ~  
  
A/N: So any views. Yes I am a bit gone on the Evanescence lyrics at the moment. Please review even if it's just to tell me that this is really bad and please stop with the Evanescence songs! All comments welcome. 


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